Are feminists bitches?

If you have read at least one feminist article in your life or pay the minimal attention to feminist issues you are probably aware of the role labels play in constructing gender stereotypes. One of the most criticised manifestations of that in our society is when men and women get labelled differently for doing the same thing. Watch the Philippines Pantene commercial, Labels Against Women, for example. It shows hard-working career men and women while different words flash up in the background depending on the person’s gender: “boss” for a man, “bossy” for a woman, “persuasive”-“pushy”, “dedicated”-“selfish” and so on, you get the idea. At the end of the video the message is clear: “Don’t let labels hold you back.” Now, setting aside the fact that the main purpose of this ad is to sell their products by manipulating our emotions, their message is all well and good. Yes, we do need to speak up against the different labels attached to our genders and the effect it has on our lives. However, I started to wonder whether ads like this actually did more harm than good by perpetuating these stereotypes.

The first time I saw this ad it was played before a YouTube video and you could skip it after five seconds. I assume most people, including myself, always skip these to finally get to the video they want to watch. But if you skip this particular ad after five seconds you have only seen a man in a suit with the word “boss” above his head and a woman leading a business meeting with “bossy” flashing behind her. As a die-hard feminist I was immediately intrigued and finished watching the whole ad to be relieved at the end upon seeing the nice message about labels. But I assume most people don’t bother to watch the whole thing, do they? No, they probably skip it as soon as they can and are left with the images of a “boss” man and a “bossy” woman in their heads.

I also started to wonder whether most people actually think this way. I am in no way questioning the fact that some people still do, unfortunately, but I wonder whether the number of those backward-thinkers is high enough to justify such ads. Maybe I am being way too optimistic here; but I fear that these ads, videos, pictures, articles and other forms of feminist campaigns emphasising different labels attached to gender actually perpetuate this sort of discrimination by putting the idea in people’s heads who otherwise may never have thought of it.

What about kids? What about the new generation growing up in increasingly more households where mothers also work and have careers? Take my little cousins for example, two boys, whose mum works in a bank and whose parents share the financial responsibilities equally. For them it is completely natural to see both their mum and dad put on a suit every morning and go to work. What if they saw this Pantene ad? The very video that aims to challenge gender discrimination would end up putting the idea in their heads that they have to view working men and women differently.

The label that bothers me the most is “bitch”. Now, I understand that feminists are trying to reclaim this word by aiming to ‘own’ it, be proud of it, and turn it into a positive label just like the gay community did with the word “queer” during the sexual revolution. Listen to Lily Allen’s new song, Hard Out Here: “I suppose I should tell you what this bitch is thinking/ You'll find me in the studio and not in the kitchen”, “Forget your balls and grow a pair of tits/ It's hard, it's hard, it's hard out here for a bitch” with the word “bitch” repeated five times in the chorus. Or take Bitch Magazine as another example. They claim that their mission is “to provide and encourage an engaged, thoughtful feminist response to mainstream media and popular culture.” But then I looked at one of their promo pictures that shows a woman’s hand giving the finger and reads: “Let us embrace these rebellious heroines from the past; because without them, we would have no voice to scream from the rooftops. Either be a bitch or be quiet.” Am I the only one this makes uncomfortable? I consider myself a feminist through and through, anyone who has met me at least once can probably confirm that, but I do not think I am a bitch. I actually think I am a nice person. Does that mean I’m not feminist enough?

Do we really need to stress, emphasise and perpetuate the view that feminist women are bitches? Again, I do understand the sentiment behind it: women who have been called a “bitch” for voicing their opinions or not conforming to the norm are fighting back by reclaiming the word and being proud of being strong and opinionated. But I'm wondering about costs and benefits. Does it actually do more harm by perpetuating the view that opinionated women are bitches? Again, perhaps I’m being too optimistic but I don’t believe that the majority of people in this country think this way today. There are of course many people who do, but I wonder: can these feminist campaigns have any effect on a person who calls a woman a “bitch” for voicing her opinion? Or do these campaigns actually perpetuate this stereotype in people’s heads who are not that informed in feminist issues, perhaps are not aware that this is an act of reclaiming this derogative label, and otherwise wouldn’t even think of calling a feminist (or any woman) a bitch?

Let’s play a word association game: do you think of the word “bitch” when you hear these names? Hillary Clinton, former United States Secretary of State and hopefully the next President. Christine Lagarde, head of the IMF. Helen Clark, former Prime Minister of New Zealand, current Administrator of the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP), and possibly the future first female UN Secretary-General. Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany. Janet Yellen, Chair of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System in the United States. Anne Hidalgo and Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet, the two candidates running for the position of Mayor of Paris in 2014.

If you thought that any of these women were “bitches” then I kindly ask you to immerse yourself in feminist tracts and stop being so incredibly ignorant. But if none of the above names made the word “bitch” flash up in your mind (which I hope is the case with most people reading this article) then answer this: do you feel it is necessary for feminists today to keep emphasising that we are proud to be bitches? Or is it time that we started to stress that being a feminist is completely normal, that everybody should be a feminist, and that you can be both a feminist and a nice, lovely, pleasant person?

DF